You Know You're Italian If...
You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe
You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens. (One was in the basement)
When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street
When you were growing up, you thought that all wine was red and that it only came in gallon jugs
If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair
There were more than 28 people in your wedding party
Your grandfather had a fig tree
You've always wanted a red Ferrari
When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli
Your big family gatherings were held in your garage
Your favorite movie is the “Godfather”, your favorite television show is “The Sopranos”, and your favorite singers are (in order) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jerry Vale, and Louis Prima
Connie Francis songs makes you cry
At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone
You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun
You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture
You know all the words to “That’s Amore”
You’re wife or husband wears a tee shirt that says “Pray for me, I married an Italian.”
You’ve been to the Vatican at least once
For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun
When you were growing up, you thought Jesus was an Italian who lived in Israel
You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy"
Your mom's meatballs are the best!
If at least five of the above apply to you, congratulations!!! You’re Italian!
You are greeted at the door when you visit with a meatball on a fork.