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- Valentines Day Quickies!
What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
"Be my valenstein!"
Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending?
Because they needed to be ad-dressed!
Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?
Because you can really party hearty!
What did one oar say to the other?
"Can I interest you in a little row-mance?"
What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?
It made him wed his plants!
What happened when the two angels got married?
They lived harpily ever after!
Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?
Because you always heart the one you love!
What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
"I love you with all my art!"
What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
He gives it a valenshine!
What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
"I've got a crutch on you!"
Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
It was a case of guppy love.
What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!
What do you call a very small valentine?
A valentiny!
What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
"I'm sweet on you!"
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive."
What did the girl light bulb say to the boy light bulb?
I wuv you watts and watts!
What did one pickle say to the other?
"You mean a great dill to me."
What did the boy centipede say to the girl centipede?
You have a nice pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs...
What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
Hogs & Kisses.
What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
Stick with me and we'll go places!
Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn't suit his taste!
Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure, they're very scent-imental!
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
"I love you a ton!"
What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
"You're fun to hang around with."
What did the pencil say to the paper?
"I dot my i's on you!"
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like a great big kiss?
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